Autoimmune Disease Awareness Month

March is National Autoimmune Disease Awareness Month. Ironically, it also mark 3 years since I was diagnosed with an Autoimmune Disease. If we aren't close chances are you have no idea that I have even been sick. That's the thing about Autoimmune diseases, they're invisible. There are so many Autoimmune diseases out there and so many people out there suffer from them. I personally suffer from Hashimoto's Thyroiditis. My Immune system attacks and destroys my Thyroid causing it to be underactive. Due to this some things normal people have control over such as energy and weight  aren't really in my own control. I can sleep 15 hours and wake up and not even 30 minutes later I already need a nap. People don't know this however, so when someone with an Autoimmune Disease, specifically Hashimoto's complains about how tired they are or how they can't lose weight people say to try harder and to sleep more. Believe me we wish the solution were that simple but it's just not. Another thing about Autoimmune diseases is there is not a cure. I'm basically on a synthetic thyroid hormone for the rest of my life. Suffering from an Autoimmune Disease has taught me how to be strong. When I got my first diagnosis, Lupus, I felt so defeated and I felt like everything was just crumbling down. Then I felt an abundance of love pouring in from my family and my church family and it lifted me up so much. I know that it was by the grace of God that that first test for Lupus was a false positive and I have a less severe Autoimmune disease. However, I also know there are people out there who are not that lucky but I have seen them remain strong through their fight with Lupus and not give up. One of the biggest things you can do for someone who has an Autoimmune disease is offer your support. just a simple "I'll be praying for you" makes such a difference and is such a comfort. It's not an easy road. I struggle to get out of bed some mornings because I just want to sleep and  I'm almost always in pain but I know that Christ is my strength and that I can get through everyday. Obviously I don't enjoy the countless doctors appointments, all the medicine, and getting sick but everything happens for a reason. God gives us certain battles to teach us lessons. Through my illness I have definitely grown closer to him and have learned to rely more on him more than I did before and it has made me a stronger person.

Where Does our Value Lie?

Our generation has become so obsessed with social media that it has become a part of us. I mean don't get me wrong, social media can be great! However, we are so obsessed with it that sometimes we base our value on how many likes our Instagram picture got, how many people swiped right on us on tinder, how many people retweeted us. I think we have forgotten where our true value lies. Our true value lies with God. He loves us more than we could ever imagine no matter how we look. If we wake up with messy hair and hair stuck to our mouths, he still loves us. If we look totally on point that day he still loves us. There is nothing that we can do to make him love us less. He loves us regardless of our weight, hair color, or how on point our outfit is. Friends, boyfriends, girlfriends will come and go in our lifetime but God is in our lives for good. He says he will never leave us nor forsake us. Even when we can't find words to speak to explain to someone God knows how to help.
So, next time you think you're not the most attractive person just because someone didn't swipe right on you on tinder, or you didn't get a ton of likes on an Instagram post remember: You have SO much value in Gods eyes! We have to learn to love ourselves before we can give love to someone else. Everyone has flaws and imperfections no matter how much they deny it. All your flaws are what make you human. We have to learn to love our flaws, they're part of who we are. If we are searching for ourselves on social media chances are we aren't going to be successful at finding ourselves. To find ourselves we have to love our flaws. As Christians, our identity lies in Christ.“If your first concern is to look after yourself, you’ll never find yourself. But if you forget about yourself and look to me, you’ll find both yourself and me.” (Matthew 10:39 MSG) So if we are searching for our identity in worldly things we will truly struggle with finding ourselves. But by putting God first not only do we find him but we also find ourselves. God knows the plans that he has for us, plans for love, a career, a family, friendships, and finances. When we put God first instead of ourselves everything falls into place. That's not to say there won't be any worry or stress and it will be the easiest thing in the world, but when we relinquish control to God our lives become so much better!
One thing I struggle with relinquishing control of is my love life. Ring by spring is a big deal and I'm pretty dead set on wanting to be engaged by the time I graduate from ACU. This may not be the plan God has for me however, he may plan for me to meet the person I'm supposed to marry in Grad school and that's okay. At the end of the day we don't really have as much control over our lives as we think we do, which is reassuring in a way. God already knows what will happen in our lives, who we will marry, how many children we will have, what type of career we will have. We just have to trust in HIM. 
At the end of the day our lives are not about us, they're about God and giving him all the glory because without him we would be nothing. God will use us in ways that we could never even imagine. As Rick Warren says in his book The Purpose-Driven Life, you are not an accident and you matter! You matter to God and you matter to so many people on this earth. So next time you're feeling you have no value or you're not good enough remember that God created you for a purpose and you are not an accident.The following is a ted talk by Rick Warren on his book the Purpose-Driven Life that I really recommend watching. 

For the last few years I have struggled with the backlash of being in an abusive relationship. I've had very low points but I've also had high points. I overcame this and I am a fighter. However, if it weren't for the grace of God I don't know that I would be where I  am today. I've struggled with depression and anxiety because someone made me believe that I was worthless, that I was unwanted and that no one would want me.I don't trust people easily and I don't open up much. However, this is far from the truth. Thankfully I know that I am beautifully and wonderfully made and I have so much value thanks to God. That's not to say that I instantly realized this however, I don't think I fully comprehended that that guy's words were so false and that I did have so much value and I am loved so much more than I can ever imagine until this. I believe that we go through trials for a reason and I believe God does not give us more than we can handle.  I firmly believe that if I had not endured all the pain I did I wouldn't have such a heart for helping others. Hard times ultimately change us, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. Without God in my life I honestly don't know where my life would've ended up after getting out of that relationship. I think the people who have hurt the most are usually the ones who want to help the most. I never want anyone to feel as badly as I felt or experience the pain I have felt. God puts people in our lives for a reason some people to teach us lessons and some people to help us. I'm so blessed to have a friend who understands and is constantly there whenever I have a breakdown even over the stupidest thing. At the end of the day I am not inadequate and I am not worthless. Although I do still feel like I am these things at times I do at least come to realize that I am not.  If a boyfriend(or girlfriend)  controls you and tries to dictate your life they are NOT worth it. It's not worth changing your career or sitting in bed crying because of cruel things that have been said to you. Even if you love them and think they will change they probably won't. You deserve to be happy and deserve to be treated right. Looks aren't everything, personality play such a big role. If a person has a pretty face but an awful heart but doesn't treat you right you might want to look elsewhere. If they aren't the hottest person on the planet but have a good heart and treat you right, give them a chance! One day our looks will fade and all that we will have left is the way you treat people.  I think personality is much more important than looks. How you treat a person is a good example of character. So be kind to each other, your actions and words affect others.

“More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” - Romans 5:3-5

New Beginnings

Transferring to ACU this semester is honestly one of the best things that could have happened. I miss my Gphi sisters dearly as well as the ocean and California in general but I feel that ACU is where I need to be right now. Transferring into ACU I was very nervous, scared I wouldn't make any friends. However, this was far from the truth. God blessed me with great friends whom I love dearly. I decided to pledge a social club as a way to get more involved. Pledging was very tough, it drained me but it was so WORTH it. I am so proud to say I am a member of Alpha Kai Omega and Gamma Phi Beta. I am truly blessed. At Pepperdine I got to be a part of a sorority with such strong beautiful women. I am now a member of a club with strong and beautiful women. I now have two bigs both of whom I love dearly. This semester was filled with so many blessings but also many trials.  I was blessed with amazing professors who genuinely care about their students, an awesome RA who is alway there when you need her, a great roommate and a great group of girls to be friends with. I also had struggles, from a breakup to being sick with migraines for a month straight. The best part of being closer to home is I can come home and see my family literally whenever! (And of course, my sweet dog Mojo). Had you asked me when I started at Pepperdine last fall if I thought I would be at a different school this year I would have told you you're crazy. At the end of the day, I don't know what the plans for my life are. However, I'm blessed to serve a God who knows what the plans for my life are. I can honestly say I'm very content with where I am in my life. As a new semester is on its way I pray that I will grow in my faith and be a light to those who need it most.
For I know the plans I have for you declares the LORD. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

To whoever is reading this,
As I type this I pray that you would not feel alone. That you would know that you are loved by so many and most importantly loved more than you could even imagine by a God who was willing to sacrifice  the life of his son for you. Your anxiety, depression or whatever you are suffering or battling does not define you. You are more than it, no matter what the voice in your head tells you. You are the Child of the one true King and no one can take that away from you! Your identity is in Christ and you are so worthy! You are loved. You have value. You have a purpose! No matter how hard life seems right now they will get better. Unfortunately, it may take a while for them to be good again but they will be. I know things are hard right now and you may even feel like giving up. But don't! Know that there are people out there who love you and who want to be there for you. Even when it seems like there's no one. You are so much more than your anxiety or depression. You are more than the grades you make, than the mistakes you will make in your life. It's okay to not be okay. It's okay to ask for help, to reach out to someone. I pray that God would give you peace and give you comfort That you would feel at ease. If you're sitting in bed alone crying right now, I hope that you know that one day things will get better. That one day you will be able to smile again. If you feel you aren't beautiful or attractive I hope you know that one day you will find that person who thinks you're the prettiest girl or most attractive guy in the world. If you've lost a loved one, I hope you know that they're watching over you, they're in a better place and they're no longer suffering. If you failed a class I hope you know that it doesn't define you and doesn't dictate how good you will be at your career of choice. If you have just gotten out of an abusive relationship I hope you know it doesn't define you. That you know you're a fighter. No matter how badly you're hurting I pray that you remember you are not alone. That you cry out to Jesus and ask for his help. "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10
Love,
Jenna

Winding down

The days are winding down until the move! Today was my last day at market street until I come home. I have to say I am so blessed to have worked at market street #553 with such amazing coworkers. My lovely friends surprised me with gifts and I'm so thankful I had the opportunity to work with them over the last  year. 

I still am nowhere near finished packing which I probably should work on! Ha. I'm incredibly excited that I get to meet my roommates a week from tomorrow and that I will get to see my home for the next four years at least! 

Today I also made progress with discoverng how to come about becoming a Combat Related PTSD counselor which is such a relief! At Pepperdine a program called friends of veterans was started and the group leader gave me a contact who she things can helps figure out this whole thing! I'm so excited to go to school and to join the Friends of Vererans club as well as a sorority and many other clubs! I'm really most excited about finding a new church. I've heard nothing but good things about the on campus church and I can't wait to attend a service! 

I would really appreciate it if prayers were continued as I am still waiting on one test result from my endocrinologist. God bless!

Decisions, Decisions...(and health update.)

I never really realized how stressful moving is until now. I'm used to having a massive closet that seems endless and now I'm going to a much smaller one. BUT! all 7 of my boxes are packed and ready to be shipped in the morning and I could not be more relieved! Sadly I know this is going to become a yearly thing for school and next summer will be even more stressful as I plan to study abroad! Moving is now about a week out and I'm excited but  slightly sad at the same time. For the first time ever I wont be around family on my birthday which makes me sad but I know I'm going to make some great friends at Pepperdine! I go on leave from my job at Market Street on Tuesday, with my last shift being on Monday. I've made a lot of great friends there and I'm sad to leave but don't worry guys, I'll be back for Christmas!:) This next week is going to be crazy saying see you later to friends and finishing packing but I could not be more excited to move to Malibu! I hate the heat and the cold so Malibu is the perfect place for me. haha!

Today, I also recieved a call from my doctor about some tests I had run earlier this week. As many of you know this last year has been very stressful with my health issues. For those of you who aren't aware, my current diagnosis is Hashimoto's Thyroiditis,which is an autoimmune disease based in the Thyroid. I currently am hyperthyroid which means I am producing too much Thyroxine. I've been on medicine for the last year and as of Tuesday  I began to show very slight improvement as my goiter has shrunk a minimal amount. Back in December, I was also diagnosed with Anemia. I had a Iron Injection in may and as of early July i am no longer anemic, Praise the Lord! However, they aren't sure what caused me to become anemic, so i had a test for Celiac disease on Tuesday and I am happy to report that the test came back negative. I am also awaiting the results of a test I had done for Cushing's disease(I will give an update when I find out.) Migraines have also been diagnosed so i now have medicine for when I get one which is wonderful! I would  greatly appreciate prayers for my health and upcoming move and that I would always be Salt and Light to the people i encounter!